He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
