is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
