mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
