dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
