he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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