I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
