mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
