I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
