Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
