we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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