He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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