i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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