I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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