I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
