So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
