can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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