I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
