there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
