He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
