yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
