So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
