I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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