The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
