If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
