I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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