well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
