Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
