She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
