I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We had to coat check the pizza.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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