The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
