Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
