Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize