And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
