I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
