so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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