I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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