Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
