just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
