normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
