she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize