This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
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Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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