well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
