just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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