I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
