It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
