i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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