Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
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at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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