just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
