It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
