Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
