I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
