careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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