I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I love how my cats smell like pot.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
