Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
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it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask