I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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