i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
