tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
