He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
